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Privilege Being Misunderstood



The token of privilege and what it means says that you are given an advantage. An opportunity someone else was dying to have. I understood the words; ‘you are so privileged’ and noting that I was not deserving, throughout my life.

I grew up in a beautiful, wealthy suburb called Westville in Durban. I still live there in fact but I live alone and my mom still lives there with my younger sister. A few things have turned for us in the recent years, which I will share in another blog. When I was born mom was a domestic worker. She was a single parent and up till this day I have come to understand mom’s life to be that of single parenting. So she had me and the couple she worked for at the time took it upon themselves to help her raise me the best way possible. This meant I was sent to great schools money could offer. I went for swimming lessons as a toddler and I enjoyed the best experiences when it came to life. I was different compared to family members like my cousins and I knew it. I felt it.

Every now and again I would have situational changes in my life that meant more money or more time invested in me.  My mom continuously had the help she needed, especially if it was about my academics. Academically I was not strong and so I battled with Mathematics. People within the church and the circles of friendship with my mom and family would say, “you are privileged and don’t you dare forget that”. As if the privilege didn’t come with the heavy responsibility of doing well and not failing. I would watch my mom deep in thought as she would attempt to give me an arousing speech on how to succeed. Her call to action was always based on the premise that if you didn’t want to be a domestic servant, go to school and finish school. As if to say it's that simple.

‘Circumstantial Privilege’ is something that falls on the laps of a few. Most people’s parents work two jobs to make sure their children go to school and have the best of the best. My mother did that too but for food and clothes. Being privileged doesn’t take away having to prove yourself and having to strive for better and for more. It doesn’t exempt you from feeling like a burden when you ask for help or advice. It doesn’t stop you from feeling inferior when you are walking in the midst of wealthy people who can smell poverty on you. Privilege just opens the door and you as the person still need to step through the door and see what are the possibilities that lie on the other side of the door labelled ‘Privilege’. I really wish people would offer help and encourage whoever is being helped to strive for better. And if you ever meet my mother, recognise a Queen in your midst. She has fought for her life and her kids lives.
A foot note: This was written 2 years ago and the hardest piece of writing I’ve ever written outside of my tertiary education. 
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