Socially Savant

My head and my heart are at war. I realised this after a long phone call that really started with my friend saying she was checking in on me. Now anyone that knows me knows that I am a loyal friend. So when this beloved friend asked this I knew I was allowed to tell the truth. The day before the call I was feeling like I was going to explode. Only because when you are transiting from one state of being to the next you have no idea how to feel and what to feel. You have weird new feelings popping in and out of your life and you really are confused most of the time. From nursing a broken heart to having your heart want that person back. You could be responding  to confusing and hard questions that family members  and family friends keep asking you about; questions about the very life you are trying to figure out. Right down to just the normal angst of living a life that needs money to keep it going forward. I found my head and my heart at war because I am thinking I am...

I was thinking as I applied concealer under my eye bags that I have finally mastered the art of applying concealer. When did I get here, I asked myself? Judging by how well the concealer looked I thought it took me a while but I am good at it now. The reason behind the concealer is largely because I need it to hide the eye bags that have been developing for the last two years. Let’s be honest wearing glasses all the time makes you look like an intelligent geek but does nothing for ones esteem. I’m comfortable in my own skin but being behind these intense lenses makes me cringe. I then have the glasses sit in such a way that presses hard on my face so that I have indentations and marks on where the spectacles sit.  So concealer it was. I took the step, the bold step a while ago, but found myself not being able to apply it properly. Until I noticed that I am now doing a splendid job at it. Then I realised that when doing things for the first time, one is never a pro. In f...

Have you ever decided that there is nothing to change about yourself? Have you ever thought you love the person looking back at you in the mirror? I only realised this in December. Fast forward to January 4 th  and I realised for the first time in 3 years I actually have nothing but admiration for myself. However a few circumstances need to change before I got here.  Fear, I call fear the crippling blanket of deception. I realised that all along the way, I feared that I would take the wrong turn, after that turn I would never find my way back. But after listening to so many podcasts by Iyanla and Oprah, after countless Super Soul Sunday Podcasts; I realised that actually I had to take the risks and I had to be scared. This time though, what changed was that I had a strong support structure and I just needed to take the leap of faith.  Faith, I call Faith food for the spiritual soul.  I have to admit I had faith that God will take care of me b...