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All the F's you cannot give


Have you ever decided that there is nothing to change about yourself? Have you ever thought you love the person looking back at you in the mirror? I only realised this in December. Fast forward to January 4th and I realised for the first time in 3 years I actually have nothing but admiration for myself. However a few circumstances need to change before I got here. 

Fear, I call fear the crippling blanket of deception. I realised that all along the way, I feared that I would take the wrong turn, after that turn I would never find my way back. But after listening to so many podcasts by Iyanla and Oprah, after countless Super Soul Sunday Podcasts; I realised that actually I had to take the risks and I had to be scared. This time though, what changed was that I had a strong support structure and I just needed to take the leap of faith. 

Faith, I call Faith food for the spiritual soul.  I have to admit I had faith that God will take care of me but zero faith in myself or the people I call my troopers. Hence fear had all the time it needed to convince me that I’m a hot mess. I had to go and ask God for forgiveness over the self doubt I had all along. I started to seclude myself and find the scriptures that would do the healing in my soul in the areas I felt were lacking. Once I got down on the floor and forgot about my phone, the healing started. My faith began to fuel my desire to find out what I was brought to this planet to do.

Friendships had to go. In a cleansing, you need to stop eating certain things. You go back to basics and eat the finest and riches nutritionalist foods in order to get better and to detox. I did the same about my spaces. I spent more time with my family and spiritual family. I applied my mind, and after a rather abrupt breakup, my brain gave birth to my best creation yet, my blogging platform; Socially Savant. I have never been more proud, because I get to bare my soul and truths through this platform and already so many people have been touched and healed. 

Now I stand with clarity. Now I stand with a few resolved issues and I stand with the knowledge that no aptitude test could ever prepare me for what’s to come. But I will always have to do the dirty work. I know I don’t want to do the dirty work, I know it’s hard doing the dirty work. However, only I can do it. They say if you want something done, do it yourself.  


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