Socially Savant

We are losing great black men daily. We are facing tragic headlines on a daily basis. Black women are wearing tragedy on their faces and this time not as a mask but as a mood, a mode and state of being. Real black affectionate and present black men don’t get the right credit, and their appreciation or acceptance only appears once they have tragically let us. We have men who are not looking for glory or shine, but when we see them we criticize them for showing their families affection. Fathers who kiss their daughters on the lips are alienated and seen as paedophiles. When all they are actually doing is grooming their daughters to feel comfortable in their own skin. They are teaching their daughters how to respect themselves and know when its real love and when they are being played by the opposite sex. However we drive home on the negative energy surrounding these black men. I look at the late Nipsey Hussle and now the late Basketball legend Kobe Bryant. Both these men are blac...

It all started with a tweet from a lady I respect and admire @KirtyBisset (Nov.16) that read, “Shout out to the fragile men.” I then replied to her saying that her tweet speaks to me my heart and that I wanted to write a blog about this very thing and she encouraged m e to go on and do it. I’ve been wanting to speak about the silencing, disrespect and abuse of men and how this has been ignored for far too long. My final wakeup call was when I realised that gender violence doesn’t really have a preference to which gender it will choose, it just violates. I have been reading up on this for years and my interest comes from a multitude of seen and heard stories amongst people I know. I know men who have been assaulted by women whom they had trusted and loved. I have watched women in my family abuse men physically or verbally. I have seen this reaction come out of anger and I have seen it come from pure malicious intent of trying to provoke a man just to see how far they can go. My...

A few days ago I posted on Facebook the following status: “Tonight a gentleman asked me why a girl like me is single. It took a lot out of me not to crumble on the floor and just weep. A lot. But hey… I’m still standing.” This incident and another conversation I had had with my mom a few weeks ago led me to write the reason why I’m annoyed by this question but also why I am unable to worship the institution of marriage. Hang tight this is going to be a very raw blog on why I hate the institution called marriage but I am still pro-marriage and the partnership dependant on how each couple would design it for themselves.  The man I mentioned above saw me at my daytime job and the manner in which he asked me carried pity and also a sense that something was wrong with me; that I couldn’t secure a ring. My response was so composed as I was at my job. But I explained to him that men and women think of marriage differently. For all my existence I’ve watched women aspire to the weddi...

I posted on my WhatsApp status: “Why do black women hate other black women”? The responses from this close group of people who constantly watch my status updates around the clock, were interesting. This then probed my mind; firstly most of the responses came from men. So I sat down to pen down what I thought about these issues, which for me are both spiritual and mental. I’ve always had a theory about this very topic. I believe that for the longest of time, deep down within us is the need for the little girl (you and me) to prove a point, either right or wrong, to their mom, aunt and/or grandmother regarding all the things they said were not right or good about the little girl (you and me). For the most part, most black mothers were single mothers; for the most part they were assisted by their mothers to raise their children. Essentially because of how you came into the world and how rough it was, we tend to want to make life easier for the families who had to carry the burd...

I come from an ultra cool and luscious suburb called Westville. It's just outside of Durban and it stretches between two townships, Claremont and Chesterville. Comrades runners race through it on the M13 every year for the Marathon. Mostly this is known as a wealthy suburb, where the wealthy have massive green lawns with picketed fencing and dogs running freely. Imagine a Durex advert.  However, I grew up there purely by chance as a domestic workers daughter. There were plenty of us who grew up in the back parts of this luscious lawns in the sections called servants courters and we all were close and tight growing up. But from there I learned a lot about being a part of 2 worlds. See I was being raided by a rural Zulu mother in a western setting and I had to identify with both worlds and understand where I fitted in whilst trying to just be a kid. Identity had always been a thing for me. I was never cool enough for the kids I went to school with (either wasn’t rich enough...

It’s time black girls mimicked their mothers. Time to put your worries aside. Put your babies on your back and get to work. This shit is waiting on you! Your life is waiting for you! Your household is waiting on you! Lets be very clear its about no one else but you. I tweeted this on the 8 th  of January 2018. I need black women all around me and even online to get up and GO!  This year I have decided to dedicate myself to restoring myself and taking care of what I have to take care of. I am not pushing myself into spaces that don’t need me. I am not interested in going to people who do not need me or vice versa. I have listened to a lot of empowering talks to get my head into this specific head space of working, but not just working, but excelling at what I am meant to be taking care of. ' In my intro I called out black women because we have been conditioned by our leaders for a very long time to think that we need to wait on the government to support and validate w...