Love The One You’re With

We are losing great black men daily. We are facing tragic headlines on a daily basis. Black women are wearing tragedy on their faces and this time not as a mask but as a mood, a mode and state of being. Real black affectionate and present black men don’t get the right credit, and their appreciation or acceptance only appears once they have tragically let us.

We have men who are not looking for glory or shine, but when we see them we criticize them for showing their families affection. Fathers who kiss their daughters on the lips are alienated and seen as paedophiles. When all they are actually doing is grooming their daughters to feel comfortable in their own skin. They are teaching their daughters how to respect themselves and know when its real love and when they are being played by the opposite sex. However we drive home on the negative energy surrounding these black men.

I look at the late Nipsey Hussle and now the late Basketball legend Kobe Bryant. Both these men are black American men and both of them were very present and very affectionate, unapologetically. These men were more than their public figure titles and what they did in the public eye. They were everything to their families and I know for a fact that when you get that type of love you never forget it. So their families will always carry them in their hearts forever. Their families will continue to live their lives making their partners and fathers proud.

My request and reason for my tribute blog is so that we can also get our local men to get on board. Can we get men who don’t get a pat on the back because they pay maintenance but can we have them in their homes, doing homework, planning their children’s futures and getting involved with family life. But instead we see them tweeting “on daddy duty” like it’s a task one ticks off and should get applauded for. I am appealing to men to remain faithful, loyal and to do right to their partners.

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The bond that liberates

There are relationships that will always remain close and dear to your heart. These are such trusted and loving relationships. I’ve always remained teachable in relationships I find myself in. I find the soul being elevated in the sight of authentic and realistic relationships. Where there is little to no reservation, bearing in mind I’m speaking about real relationships, not the kind where you just kickin it . I’ve dated two men who have seen me as not just a woman in their lives but also a sister. Now we generally use these terms so loosely however as Africans we are relatively still in tune to our real African roots. We still look into the soulful spaces of the relationship we are in, it's how we excel in respect. I notice that resonating often in our lives. But I digress. The validation of the sister/ brotherhood in a relationship is almost as befitting as a gold star rating in your role as that person’s partner. Let me explain. When one can honestly feel at home in...

It wouldn't be the first time

I fussed and struggled to get to my inner strength. I started very slowly to remove myself from people and the regular things I was doing in my everyday life. I started to remove myself from the responsibilities in my church life and family life. Dating was a hard no. Trying to even look pretty within my skin and body was a difficult task to achieve. I decided to focus on me. It wouldn’t be the first time, I did such. “It wouldn’t be the first time” was the last thing my pastor said to me when I lay in the hospital bleeding out. He said this after I told him it’s after visiting hours and he was going to get in trouble if he didn’t leave. He fist pumped me and looked straight into my eyes and said, “It wouldn’t be the first time”. I garnered so much strength from just those few words to remember that I’m a force. I’m powerful. That I am so much more and mostly so intelligent to just let myself slip out of life this way. This was not the bang I was looking for. I had 6 h...

Speak to God

Spiritual work and a spiritual life are unspoken and unnoticed daily activities known to man. You might say to me - but that's obvious. But because of the space we find ourselves in, other things take precedence over our spiritual time. We find people priding themselves in the work ethic and how much they have built, good as that is one can neglect the spiritual growth needed to enjoy the finer things in life. In order to have a fulfilled life your spirit has to be a happy one. A person on their deathbed will always express the importance of enjoying life, they hardly mention the need for money and assets as they slip onto the other side. People may even say spiritual activities are designated for certain people. However, connections with God are not always smooth sailing. This is because there are multiple ways that your spirit might connect with God. Questions I have for you are, are you aware of how to connect with God? Do you know that there might be several ways that ...

Socially Savant

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