Socially Savant

It’s been quite a ride this living as a woman. One would think that being born into the world means that there is space for you to just be, to exist. Well, we won’t have that conversation today but for many reasons it’s been quite difficult to live and love. As a woman, the moment you wake up in the morning you have to put a few hats on just to get you through your morning routine and out the door. The one hat we are never told to wear is that of forgiving self, as women and most importantly as women of colour we need to forgive ourselves in order to live our lives in love. We’re conditioned to forgive the world and everyone in it but ourselves and other women. The acidity fills the cup and it overflows into our workspaces, places of worship, families, our sisters who are doing better than us and most of all it burns every ounce of confidence in self and replaces it with a desire to meet standards set by everyone but ourselves. One of the many keys that lead to a path of h...

Image by: Gina Tepper  When you need to have the harsh conversation with yourself in the mirror”, please have it. For 3 weeks now I've been forcing myself to state it as it is: “He never chose me. Even when I tried my hardest. He didn't pick me.” I have had friends thank me for telling them this. However, I still do it often to release myself from the grip of heartache. I have been dating since age 16. Two very short relationships in High School but then age 21 I got hooked. When I say hooked I mean stuck. He could do no wrong. In my eyes this person was everything.  He could do no wrong, ever. As a matter of fact, I think at some point I asked him if he had used “Umuti” on me as a form of trapping me in a relationship. Alas we laughed at that question for years after.   I have been in his life for nearly a decade now and there is nothing that we do not discuss. However I had to do something for myself to begin the process of weaning him off. I must be hone...