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The Support Group Is Me


2017 was an interesting year for me because of the different encounters I had with people from all walks of life. In July, during the International Durban Film Festival I had the opportunity of speaking to Darel Roodt, the producer and director in the film ‘Yesterday’ staring Leleti Khumalo. I had to thank him for making a film that would help me think outside the box about HIV/Aids.

World Aids day brings everyone together for just one day and we congregate on social media to commemorate this remarkably unappreciated diseases. We unite just for a day to showcase how much we know and may not know for just a day. All the other days in the year we are ignorant or not bothered by this. We look away. So the day comes and what new issues will we learn? How have we better informed ourselves on the disease; the effects and any cures or new treatments. 

I follow Doctor Sindisiwe van Zyl (@sindivanzyl) where she discusses the latest treatments and what is unfolding in the medical field. She alerts her followers on some touchy subjects regarding HIV/Aids from mother child transmission to sex with a partner that is HIV positive. We cannot run away from these topics. We cannot deny that in a new relationship it is tough to go there regarding this topic, however we have evolved as a people, we should go there.

Now I must contradict myself and say that in the homes of rural settings we still find that families have buried their heads in the sand in denial. Scared that if it is spoken about they might be found out. That’s when characters like my mom come in. Her activism strategy is simple. Speak, but speak from your personal experience. So she sits with women at these family gatherings and starts talking about how her CD4 count has gone down and she feels tired more often than not as an icebreaker, but in all honesty it’s not an icebreaker anyone is ready for. She speaks about how her doctors are so kind and that she’s going to live a very long and beautiful life. By this point the facial reactions are so shocked and then she winks to a lady next to her and says; “after so many years with this disease living with us, people still act like it just arrived yesterday. Why are blacks so afraid of dying?” Slowly but surely women will come up to her and share their stories privately.

What I’m trying to drill home is that the community should be at the point where we are a support group. Government and NGOs shouldn’t have to be doing this. We should be the ones who are supporting and helping our own people live longer. We should be making sure that people can speak up and speak out amongst us instead of holding back. Worlds Aids day should be an everyday experience. No longer abstract and directed to making us feel like we the educated elite for blogging, instagramming and tweeting about it. 


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