Scared And Lonely

So many women and men are scared and lonely. We feel unseen. We feel unnoticed and we feel like something went wrong for us and we are now no longer connected to the thing we were meant to be connected to.

The connections we originally had have changed. Besides family that we are glued to until death does us wrong we have friendships or ‘soulties’ we really felt connected to that we lost along the way. People we thought we would have forever. Turns out they were around for just a season and for a reason.

Our hearts are crushed when we realise they have moved on without us. Nothing in their new life styles or settings reminds them to call us back or invite us back in. That severe cut reminds us that we can no longer get back into the circle. It’s at that moment when fear of things never moving and progressing for you. The fear that the worst is truly going to steal your joy and you might never move out of this anguish of being alone you become scared.

So long as Social Media has the long list of recommendations of how life should look like we will always be lonely. We will always be seeking validation and security through what we are doing from people and not what we are doing for ourselves to advance ourselves or to fill our lives up with what is good for us.

If we do not take a moment to ask ourselves what would we like out of our experiences? Or ask what would the universe want me to do here? Why am I here in this moment? If we do not settle down and find stillness we are going to be lost.

We need to start redefining what happiness means and not isolate the need to succeed as the need to be happy. We need to garnish our enthusiasm from the good and honest intentions with hope. Not from what we think will define us and validate us. This time in my life I am seeking for revelation and I am seeking for truth and I am seeking it for myself. The truth is that seeking is such a rollercoaster ride and how much of that ride is seriously touch and go. 1% of the time you will get it right. That feeling of being the top, that fleeting moment is exhilarating however the 99% of the time you are isolated and that can be very hard. I wonder sometimes that if I had known how much work it took for this introspection would I be here? Would I be writing this truth? Would I be seeking this out for myself? Would I be listing all the things I want to do for myself just so that I can say I did it. Without anyone cheering me on or applauding my efforts.

Comments

The bond that liberates

There are relationships that will always remain close and dear to your heart. These are such trusted and loving relationships. I’ve always remained teachable in relationships I find myself in. I find the soul being elevated in the sight of authentic and realistic relationships. Where there is little to no reservation, bearing in mind I’m speaking about real relationships, not the kind where you just kickin it . I’ve dated two men who have seen me as not just a woman in their lives but also a sister. Now we generally use these terms so loosely however as Africans we are relatively still in tune to our real African roots. We still look into the soulful spaces of the relationship we are in, it's how we excel in respect. I notice that resonating often in our lives. But I digress. The validation of the sister/ brotherhood in a relationship is almost as befitting as a gold star rating in your role as that person’s partner. Let me explain. When one can honestly feel at home in...

It wouldn't be the first time

I fussed and struggled to get to my inner strength. I started very slowly to remove myself from people and the regular things I was doing in my everyday life. I started to remove myself from the responsibilities in my church life and family life. Dating was a hard no. Trying to even look pretty within my skin and body was a difficult task to achieve. I decided to focus on me. It wouldn’t be the first time, I did such. “It wouldn’t be the first time” was the last thing my pastor said to me when I lay in the hospital bleeding out. He said this after I told him it’s after visiting hours and he was going to get in trouble if he didn’t leave. He fist pumped me and looked straight into my eyes and said, “It wouldn’t be the first time”. I garnered so much strength from just those few words to remember that I’m a force. I’m powerful. That I am so much more and mostly so intelligent to just let myself slip out of life this way. This was not the bang I was looking for. I had 6 h...

Speak to God

Spiritual work and a spiritual life are unspoken and unnoticed daily activities known to man. You might say to me - but that's obvious. But because of the space we find ourselves in, other things take precedence over our spiritual time. We find people priding themselves in the work ethic and how much they have built, good as that is one can neglect the spiritual growth needed to enjoy the finer things in life. In order to have a fulfilled life your spirit has to be a happy one. A person on their deathbed will always express the importance of enjoying life, they hardly mention the need for money and assets as they slip onto the other side. People may even say spiritual activities are designated for certain people. However, connections with God are not always smooth sailing. This is because there are multiple ways that your spirit might connect with God. Questions I have for you are, are you aware of how to connect with God? Do you know that there might be several ways that ...

Socially Savant

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